I am

I am Rachel Marie Dickson  

I think about what kind of mother I will be

I am happy when the sun shines

I have lots on my mind constantly  

I miss my parents 

 I fear that I am not a good enough wife and mother  

I feel at peace 

I smell Johnson and Johnson cocoa butter baby lotion 

 I usually spend my days at home 

 I search for clothes that will fit my ever disappointing body 

 I wonder when I will like what I see in the mirror 

I regret not finishing college  

I love my daughter more then I ever thought possible 

 I care about being an active member in my church  

I tell people I am fine  

I worry about bills and having enough money  

I am not the best cook 

I remember the summer of '07 and how it was the best summer of my life 

 I believe in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints  

I sing all the time 

 I don't always keep the house as clean as I would like  

I don't like not having close friends anymore 

I write grocery lists 

 I win board games 

 I lose my mind if I don't talk to at least one of my sisters daily  

I dance with Elleanor in my arms to make her laugh 

 I wish I could get a good group of girlfriends 

 I never go to bed mad at my husband no matter how late we have to stay up 

 I listen to Britney Spears and Lady Gaga all day, Ella loves them too 

 I don't understand why my boobs have to be so huge.....it drives me crazy 

 I can usually be found laying on the floor with Elleanor  

I need to lose this baby weight